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Wednesday, February 22, 2012
i am not ashamed to say i don't know.. i prefer to act as myself.. i prefer not to portray myself as someone knowledgeable.. i'll tell you what i know.. don't expect me to say things i don't know..
apiz fell to the samurai's sword @ Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Wednesday, February 15, 2012
the curious case about love.. and the relationships we have with people... arrrgh... there's no denying the fact that loving someone is such a beautiful feeling... it's beauty is such that no words could describe exactly how beautiful it is.. it becomes more beautiful when the feeling is mutual.. when that other person loves you back just as much as you love them.. but to me... this beautiful feeling can always hurt so much too... but is it really love if it hurts so much? loving someone who hurt u before, loving someone but couldn't tell them, or loving someone and telling them, but that feeling isn't mutual, and so they tell you off.. when these things happen, you have no choice but to accept how things are, and because of that strong feelings you have for them, all you wish for is to see them smiling.. you'll say that it makes you happy to see them smile.. but the truth is.. everytime they smile with somebody else, it creates a hole in that heart of yours that hurts so much.. and you try to deny it.. but denying it makes it hurts even more.. denial hurts.. it's truly amazing how this beautiful feelings can hurt so much if you're unlucky enough.. then there's friendships.. how long you've been friends don't matter, sometimes, even the most stupid of things can destroy it.. this is why sometimes i feel that its better to just remain in secluded.. isolated.. but then, nobody in this world can stand solitude.. no matter how painful it might get, we all need someone to love.. to cherish for life...
apiz fell to the samurai's sword @ Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wednesday, February 1, 2012
aku tak tahu apa aku rasa sekarang......... kadang-kadang tu aku rasa macam......entah eh....... nak berbual dengan orang pun tak guna..... sebab orang tak nak berbual dengan aku............
apiz fell to the samurai's sword @ Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Friday, January 20, 2012
my results are dropping with every passing semester.. and right now i'm down with diarrhea during this semester break... sigh.......... i'm really not good
apiz fell to the samurai's sword @ Friday, January 20, 2012

Saturday, December 31, 2011
wow it's really been a long time since i last updated my blog.. seriously.. i wish i could update this thing more often.. despite the fact that i think that nobody's reading.. yes i'm very sure of it... but unfortunately.. there really is nothing going on in my life.. nothing that is worthy to be written here so i can remember them.. i am simply... out-of-favor... sorry.. lonely son of a gun... but what the hell... tomorrow... the start of exams... i'm gonna need a whole lot of luck... i hope i do well... peace out
apiz fell to the samurai's sword @ Saturday, December 31, 2011

Thursday, November 17, 2011
what is the point of being happy when you have no one to share it with? how to let go of the things that are bothering you when you have no one to share them with..? what is there to life when there is absolutely nothing that cheers me up? what is there to life when there is nobody there? i have nothing to write.. what i know is, i am very low in self-esteem.. my confidence is very low too.. i feel like nobody out there needs me.. this really kills me.. am i really this insignificant in everyone's eyes? the way things are.. this loneliness i feel.. seems like i am INSIGNIFICANT.. i want to reach out to someone.. but i don't know who.. and where to.. there's really no one here who i truly regard as my best buddy.. i tried and tried.. to find someone.. to share.. to make myself special in their eyes.. but i always fail.. and now i am at a point where i am too tired to even try to reach out to someone.. to find someone.. this feeling is here to stay for quite some time yet.. i am sad..
apiz fell to the samurai's sword @ Thursday, November 17, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011
mungkin dulu.. aku senang mengata melihatkan orang dari jauh.. tapi bila terkena batang hidung sendiri.. baru tahu susah senang nak bangun untuk berdiri kembali.. mungkin dulu.. aku mudah memberi nasihat tanpa mempraktikkannya sendiri.. tapi kini dah lain.. setiap kali orang meminta pandangan dan nasihat.. tak ada apa yang dapat ku berikan mereka.. mungkin dulu.. kalau aku tak pernah melayan perasaan aku.. aku takkan pernah tahu rasa kecewa seperti ini.. mungkin kini aku takkan susah seperti ini.. mungkin dulu.. kalau aku tak pernah menjatuhkan harga diri aku sendiri.. tak pernah hanyut dibuai rasa kecewa dan sedih.. mungkin kini aku lebih konfiden.. tapi tanpa pengalaman dulu-dulu ini.. mungkin aku takkan pernah faham orang.. mungkin semua ini taklah negatif.. mungkin aku yang harus jadikan semua ini sesuatu yang positif untuk diri aku.. tapi aku tak tahu langkah yang macam mana harus aku ambil.. jalan yang mana harus aku ikut.. adakah memberi ruang dalam hati ini untuk diisi seseorang satu langkah yang baik.. atau lebih baik aku terus menutupinya kerana takut kecewa.. mengapa pelajaran seakan semakin sukar? mungkin aku tak inginkan semua ini seperti satu ketika dulu.. ketika masih di sekolah menengah.. mungkin kini aku rasa harapan yang aku pernah ada dulu terlalu jauh untuk aku capai.. mungkin aku hilang arah.. mungkin aku dah tak tahu apa yang aku nak.. mungkin aku terlalu ikutkan nafsu.. mungkin aku lelaki yang terlalu lemah peribadinya..
apiz fell to the samurai's sword @ Tuesday, November 08, 2011

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Abdul Hafiz Mazelan 26th july 1988 60kg,184cm boring a.k.a piz, apiz, pizkek, anjang, abang, hafiz, abdul 1995-2007 Madrasah Wak Tanjong Al-Islamiah 2008-??? Islamic University Of Medina,Saudi Arabia
be the best i can in what i do be a better person realise my dream happiness for everyone
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