mannn...
i dont know why..
even though i know school is tougher now compared to the first 2 semesters, i still feel lazy...
hahaha...
the tiredness... i don't seem like getting over it...
it's like i no longer have any fuel left in the tank... simply exhausted....

BUT....

a crazy senior of mine organised a friendly match with myanmar just now...
this time.. we won 4-2...
hahahah...
maybe lesson learnt....
maybe.. we concentrated more just now....
time to give it our all on another serious match later this thursday...

the thing is... i am exhausted.. yet i can push my body to play in this match....
if only i could do the same in my studies...
hahahaha...

k..
in my previous post... i said i keep dreaming of my old friends...
some from primary school and some from secondary and also pre-uni..
so just now after playing in that match i went to Haram...
then there were 2 jemaah haji from God knows where...
they were talking and laughing, and they looked exactly like zahirah and haryanti....
exactly like them when talking and laughing..
hahaha...

aku tkna rapat dgn dorg.. tp boleh terigt dorg... seee.... get what i mean?

i think i really miss my past la...

i know life goes on... and we will meet some people and bid some of them goodbyes..

but ignoring all feelings is impossible.. i guess there are times when you feel you really want to go back and relive those moments...

it's like i'm caught somewhere in time right now...

da tua la aku ni gaknye.... kwang kwang kwang....

aww maaaannn.. losing is something i really hate..
but then again.... having said that...
we don't deserve to win judging from the way we played...

hahahha..

i don't like losing.. that's all....
but i like losing when we despite giving our all...
but just now.. i thought things could be better if we had shown more commitment in the last few weeks before we officially start...

so yeaaaa....

the result was embarrassing.. 7-1 against cambodia... but we should be okay if we were fitter..
i thought all of us switched off after half time...

so let's work on improving our stamina.. hahaha.. easier said than done though...

one more thing.. i've been dreaming about old friends alot lately....

they were like memories relived in my dreams..

does this means i'm missing my past?

hahahaha...

life goes on....

ignoring all feelings.... is just impossible

hari ni aku nk luahkan apa yang mengganggu kepala otak aku.....

kini.. kau sedang rasa apa yang selama ini aku rasa.. betapa bingitnya kau kini kepada seseorang adalah sama bingitnya aku kepada kau satu ketika dulu.. ironinya.. atas satu sebab yg sama..

dan kini ada sesuatu yang memelikkan aku sedikit... kenapa tetiba aku terigtkn kamu lagi...
da berbulan rasanya aku tkde rasa begini.. tetapi tetiba aku terigt kembali...
jadi ape sebenarnye yg kene dgn aku ni?
aku sendiri pon tk paham....

tetapi mmg benar....
semuanya terlalu indah....

apa yg aku bosan kini ialah aku seperti terlalu malas utk belajar.....
bagaimana nak aku tolak diriku sendiri lagi?
nmpknye aku nk kene tukar cara aku...

apa yg merisaukan aku ialah kereta seolah2 ada masalah dalaman..mati la seyyy..
hahahaha....

kini.. apa yg harus aku lakukan utk menang?

hmmmmmmm

i am a normal human being.. with normal desires..
and normal habits.. and usual dreams and ambitions....
and normal abilities.. and normal feelings......

lately.. as i sit in front of my laptop doing all sorts of things...
from watching movies and cartoons to playing games..
i begin to think about something...well...
because of the type of conversations i seem to have with some friends...
everybody just began talking about their problems and share them with me...
u know..normal teenagers' problems....

am i that trustworthy that i seem to attract people with problems??
hahaha....

but after talking with every single one of them....
i realize that most of the things i worry about are petty little things...
and they make me think...and i accidentally analyze people's behaviours...hahaha...
and i have come to a conclusion that at this day and age...
love, honesty, loyalty, commitment, sincerity, understanding and patience..
are things that don't come very easy...
it's existence is almost zero.. that's how hard it is to find these qualities in people...

what's love anyway??
is it just being with that person?
or is it a commitment?
or is it just an excuse for sex??

why say you love someone if you don't really think you want to be with them until the end..?
why say so only at the spur of the moment?? when hugging, kissing, sitting next to that special person or whatever......

is that the purpose of saying "i love you" and having a relationship?
but when challenges arise or circumstances that need sacrifices only for a short while arise,
everybody turns their back on their love....
or at least..they thought it was love....

hahaha...
i wish i can stay away from this crazy game....
and find someone who really loves....

and i wish i can find the real definition of love..and give it to a person..
and obtain the same love from her...

adduuuuhhhh
musim sejuk da nk mula...
knape and macamana aku tau?

sbb..bila pagi2 tu..aku da boleh rasa kedinginan je waktu nk gi skola...
dan utk menguatkan lagi hujah aku ni....aku kene ceret-beret!!!!
hahahahaha....

aku ada rasa setiap kali nk tukar musim aku akan ceret-beret..
tahun lepas baru sampai madinah dulu pun baru nk mula musim sejuk...
aku sampai je kene ceret-beret...
den bersusah payah aku makan banyak2 bila nk tukar panas je aku kene ceret-beret lagi...
habis sia2 la aku makan sebab badan turun balik macam biasa...
hahahaha....

kalau aku boleh reset badan aku ni......
aku nk reset bab "setiap kali tukar musim n aku nk sesuaikan diri dgn musim tu aku mesti kene ceret-beret"....

okay da merepek...


HOMEWORK BANYAK DOOOOOKKKKK....

alhamdulillah....
alhamdulillah kerana masih ada lagi kesempatan untukku..
alhamdulillah....

ingin aku bercerita tentang apa yang terjadi beberapa hari lepas..hehehe
boleh dikatakan dah setahun aku belajar di Madinah..
tetapi kelmarin itu adalah kali pertama aku mimpikan ummi..
hahahha
betoooooooooollll
setahun ni..baru kelmarin itu kali pertama...

alhamdulillah mimpi biasa2 je..
aku berbual dgn ummi dlm mimpi itu..
bila bangun aku sedar aku di Madinah..
aku rasa "LAAAARRR SEDIH PLAK"
hahaha..
mungkin rindu kat orang tua tu..
yelaar..cuti lepas itu aku rasa adalah kali pertama aku perlukan mak bapak aku untuk bantu aku dengan masalah aku...jadi aku banyak sangat berbual dengan mereka...
mungkin disebabkan itu aku rindu....
hehehe
betoooooolll...
aku tk pernah berbual dengan mak bapak lebih2 lagi pasal masalah sebelum ini...
da tua nk mampos 21 tahun baru la aku cari mereka untuk nasihat..
hahaha....

cerita di Madinah pula seperti biasa...
tak ada apa yang terlalu interesting..
kecuali satu ni aku da kongsi beli kereta..
jadi aku ada kereta..
tapi lesen tak ada..
nanti lah boleh aku habiskan TP aku tu...
ni la aku..lengah lengah...
tapi nanti lah..
nk ponteng sekolah utk TP ni pun kene ada perancangan..haha

alhamdulillah....

coz u know..n u told me about it too..
about how i am the best when it comes to doing what i do...

but i have a question..
am i a pure realist or just pessimist?
what's the difference?

aiwah...
dah mula dah..
da nk kene full throttle...
syeikh2 da mula kasi homework.....
dorg pon da mula suro hafal.....
amboiii....

boleh mati la deyyyyy......

skrg adik laki aku pon da nk o lvl...
yg pompan pon da nk exam....
good luck je la korg eh....
abg dgn bahagian abg kat sini..
korg plak dgn bahagian korg kat sana....

dan entah mengapa....
mata aku rasa mcm nk tutop je..
baru seminggu skola da penat mcm ni...kalau da 3 bulan mcmane?
hahahha..

tkleh mcmni eh...
kene paksa eh..
jgn layankan sgt kemalasan dgn perasaan tu....

skrg ku tgk....